Realizing you're worth

 You can still remember the time when you begged for love. You lost your colors. You settled for the "maybe", the "I'll see if I can" and the "I'm tired". You endured the pain of every no, and over time you started to believe that maybe, just maybe, that's what you deserve. That you should just be grateful for the rare "yes" and just sit in the corner waiting. 

It took some time, but when you finally realized that your slowly turning into this broken soul you always feared to be, you tried your best to get up and walk away. Step by step, you dragged your feet, and that's when you learned that one of the most difficult things to do in life is to walk away from things that you've always wanted. But you did it. 

You did it because every day seemed like it's raining and you wanted to see the sun again. You did it for the days when you would laugh so hard your stomach would hurt. You did it because you wanted to believe that despite the messed up person that you are, despite all the scars and the holes in your chest, you deserve another shot at happiness.

I know it took a while, but I couldn't be prouder of you. It was hard and it broke you. It changed who you are, how you trust, how you look at life and how you love but remember you did it! My prayer for you is to know God has someone out there for you that will love you the way you are. All your brokenness, scars, imperfections and messiness. You won't have to settle, they won't cross your boundaries that you set, you won't have to have your guard up, you will know what it's like to truly trust and to be loved because that person will feel like home. Once you realize your worth you won't settle for anything then other then the best.